Fake Bucket List

I don’t have a Bucket List.  Maybe I should.  I think they’re a great idea if it encourages you to turn dreams into reality (caveat: if a Bucket List ever causes frustration about what has not yet been done, instead of motivation for what will be done, then it needs to be burned immediately!).

Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of things I want to do in life!  Perhaps I have just been fortunate enough to have enough unexpected adventures that I haven’t felt a need to create a Bucket List.  Or maybe it may unquenchable need to mark items off a list and it will haunt me if I don’t get them done quick enough.  Whatever the case may be, no, I don’t have a Bucket List.

But, I do have a Fake Bucket List.

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What is a Fake Bucket List? Well, I’m glad you asked…

It’s a collection of completely random things that I would never ever want to do, created for the sole purpose of making you (yes, YOU) smile!

So here we go…

My Fake Bucket List:

  • Superhero mask facial tattoo
  • Go one hour without coffee
  • Wrestle a porcupine
  • Take up career creating sculptures out of butter
  • Eat my weight in tofu
  • Taser myself, just to see what all the hype is about
  • Legally change my middle name to “Danger”
  • Test user for Munster cheese scented cologne
  • Become a 3rd World child so Brangelina will adopt me
  • Make the FBI’s 10 most wanted then yell out “they like me! they really like me!”
  • Call in sick “due to lack of interest”
  • Open a pet store that only sells Dust Bunnies
  • Personal masseur for a Sumo wrestling team
  • Call Mike Tyson a sissy, repeatedly, until he snaps
  • Start a Peanut Butter and Toe Jam Sandwich shop
  • Head-to-Toe Body Waxing

That’s my Fake Bucket List. So, what’s on yours?

-Eric

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